im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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