I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
