The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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