"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
