This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
