Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i out mim tonsoeep
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