so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
be right there i have to get my cape
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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