She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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