I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
