the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
