this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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