You really coming over, don't trick.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize