just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
