i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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