It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
