The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
