I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
