We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
