C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize