PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
