Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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