no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
