dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love having hate sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
