Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
