Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
