I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
