Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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