Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
