apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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