Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
