so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
