shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
