Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
