the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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