he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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