I can tuck mytits in my pants
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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