I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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