I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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