Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
this hospital has no fireball
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
