i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
