white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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