I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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