I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize