Fuck appropriateness.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
