**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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