Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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