I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
