take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
