Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
