Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
4 words: hood of his car
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize