Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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