i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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