It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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