Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
