we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
