Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Randomize
