Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
