I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
