is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
