theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
