How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's shark week go big or go home
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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