If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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