Christians are straight up FREAKS
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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