Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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