im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just made my gag reflex go away.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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