Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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