Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
